- Non chalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
- The shortest distance beween any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
- There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just theway you meant to play it.
- You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch90% of the time.
- Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
- If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
- To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 600 mph.
If you make it through the summer, Ralphie failed his calling!!!!