Thursday, July 06, 2006


1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto, the blockage will be instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? When cutting vegetables, avoid cutting yourself by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments about lifting the toilet seat simply by using the sink instead.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be too afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Simple bite the inside of your cheek and amazingly you will forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are ...
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Thanks Barry & Louise D.

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