How to Install an Inexpensive Home Security System
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used boots size 14.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of guns & ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim,
I went to the gun shop for more ammo. Back in an hour. Don't mess around with the pit bulls - - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood scattered around.
PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. You'd better wait outside."
Thanks Bev V.