Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Dilbertian

Essential Additions for the Workplace Vocabulary

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
Cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.

8. SITCOM: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay
home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for "swiping " free photocopies from one's
workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying,
yet you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben
wedding (or not) was a prime example.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of 'whacking the crap ' out of
an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

16. GENERICA: Features of the landscape that are exactly the same no
matter where one is; such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake.

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously breaking wind while passing through a
Cube Farm.

Thanks Margaret W.

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