To my honourary Quebec Drivers

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident Québec
driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance
between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be
filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous
situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less of a chance
you have of getting hit.

4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one
expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
bodywork, especially with Ontario or New Brunswick, plates. With no insurance,
the other operator has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure
that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the
brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's
a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the
right. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion
and are not enforceable in Quebec during rush hour, especially in
Montreal.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed
up or move over doesn't mean that a Quebec driver flashing his
high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even
someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the
victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Quebec is the
home of high-speed slalom-driving; thanks to the Department of
Public Works, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test
drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

12. It is tradition in Quebec to honk your horn at cars in front
of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns
green.

13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is
important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right away.
Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape
from danger.

14. Remember that the goal of every Quebec driver is to get
ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

15. In Quebec, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute.
This gesture should always be returned.

"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thanks Barb C.
All of us that have driven in Mtl. will love this…