1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.
3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.
4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by
simply using the sink.
5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use
6. Have a bad headache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget about the headache.
7. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really
are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and
should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Thanks Ralph B.