Monday, May 07, 2007

Headstones

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany,
New York:Born 1903 -
Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on
The way down.It was

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In a Thurmont, Maryland,
cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

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In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767

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n a Ribbesford, England,
cemetery:
Anna Wallace:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico,
cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me For not rising.

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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania,
cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake.

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In a Silver City,
Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.

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A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

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John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne,
England,
Cemetery:Reader,
if cash thou art In want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep; And thou wilt find a Penny.

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In a cemetery in Hartscombe,
England:On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.

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Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,
Vermont Here lies the body of our Anna -
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

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On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket,
Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God

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In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, you soon will be.
Prepare yourself and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent,
Until I know whichway you went.

Thanks Barry & Louise D.

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