President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country
To invade next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. This is
Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove , Newfoundland , Canada
eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you eh!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How
big is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is
myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team
from the pub. That makes eight!"
George paused.. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men
in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?", George asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000
Tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to
a half million since we last spoke."
"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war
Is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an'
Modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
Four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell
You Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
Military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites.
And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Bush! I am
Sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of
"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a
long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can
Feed two million prisoners."
CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!
Thanks Dave B.