Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Kids

Kind Regards,
> 7 reasons not to mess with children.
>
>A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
>
>The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
>human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
>small.
>
>The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
>
>Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
>it was physically impossible.
>
>The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
>
>The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
>
>The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
>
>
>
>A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
>were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
>
>As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
>the drawing was.
>
>The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
>
>The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
>
>Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
>"They will in a minute."
>
>
>
>A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
>and six year olds.
>
>After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she
>asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers
>and sisters?"
>
>Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
>"Thou shall not kill."
>
>
>
>One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at
>the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
>of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
>
>She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
>hairs white, Mom?"
>
>Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make
>me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
>
>The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
>"Momma? you must have been a very very bad girl. Grandma's hairs are ALL
>white?"
>
>The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
>persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
>
>"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and
>say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
>doctor.'
>
>A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,
>she's dead."
>
>
>
>A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
>make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
>blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
>
>"Yes," the class said.
>
>"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position
>the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
>
>A little fellow shouted,
>"Cause your feet ain't empty."
>
>
>
>The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
>for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
>made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
>
>"Take only ONE. God is watching."
>
>Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
>large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
>
>A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
>
>
>
>It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it
>made you laugh, your friends will laugh too

Thanks Ivan R.

No comments: