Thursday, August 16, 2007

Men's Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, >the GUYS' side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good. We always hear >"the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male >side:>> These are our rules! Please note.. These are all numbered ''1'' ON >PURPOSE!>>

1. Men ARE not mind readers.>

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put >it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining >about you leaving it down, do you??>

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the >tides. Let it be.>

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of >it that way.>

1. Crying is blackmail.>

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints >do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say >it!>

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every >question.>

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. >That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.>

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.>

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In >fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.>

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect >us to act like soap opera guys.> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.>

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the >ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.>

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it >done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.>

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during >commercials.>

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.>

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. >Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color! Pumpkin is also a fruit or >something. We have no idea what mauve is.>

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.>

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like >nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the >hassle.>

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an >answer you don't want to hear.>

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is >fine. Really.>

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to >discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.>

1. You have enough clothes.>

1. You have too many shoes.>

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!>

1. Thank you for reading this. (Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the >couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like >camping.)>>

Pass this to as many men as you can to give them a laugh.>>

Pass this to as many women as you can to give them a bigger laugh.

Thanks Sandy R.

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