When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then yourbody and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
He who hesitates is probably right.If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
Did you ever notice that when you put the words "The" and "IRS" togetherit spells "Theirs"?
Did you ever noticethat the Roman Numerals for forty (40) are "XL"?
Thanks Barb H.