Saturday, March 31, 2007

Miles Per Gallon

A recent survey revealed that the average American walks
900 miles per year.

Another survey revealed that the average American
consumes 20 gallons of beer per year.

Conclusion: The average American gets 45 miles per gallon.

Thanks Jim E.

Normand at Rest


RESTING IN FRONT OF MY HOME AFTER A GOOD ICE CREAM AT DAIRY QUEEN PICTURE TAKEN FROM 6TH FLOOR OF LEMOYNE HOSPITAL.

Thanks Normand S.

True Friendship

(With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always
sound good,
but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of
truefriendship.

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- just
the stone
cold truth of our friendship.

1 When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot
revenge against
the sorry bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is
choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every
chance I get

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories
about how
much worse it could be until you quit whining.


6. When you are confused -- I will use little words

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you
are well
again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy
ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you
may ask?
Because you are my friend".
Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it,
but only you
can feel the true warmth.
Send this to "all 10" of your friends, then get depressed
because you
can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me...I don't
want to hear it!!!)
And remember....when life hands you Lemons, get some
tequila and salt and call me!

Thanks Murray P.

Cancun Mexico Pics

















Thanks Louisa




Today's Animal

Thanks Bev. V

Out of Town (Repeat)

Hi Folks,
I am out of town and the internet connection I have is painfully slow so I won't post all of the things you send me. I will catch up with them once I am back home.

Take care good friends
I am sorry but this internet connection is terrible. I guess in the Ozarks it is acceptable but I can't post very much. Pls be patient

Marty

Zeeba Books News Letter

Hello Folks please go to the backup blog site to see the latest news letter from Zeebs Books GPK.

The site is http://martynorth.wordpress.com/

Or go to the left side bar under Links and click on the backup site..

Marty N

Friday, March 30, 2007

Guess the price and win a prize


HI MISTER NORTH,I AM BOB PARKER OF THE PRICE IS RIGHT T.V.SHOW, IF ONE OF YOUR BLOGGER GUESS THE RIGHT PRICE PAID FOR THIS CAR IN 1965 IN G.PK THE TOTAL INVOICE WITHIN 25 DOLLARS MORE OR LESS ,THEY WILL WIN A GENUINE STREET SIGN OF G.PK. COURTESY OF NORMAND SIMARD,HE WILL BRING THE SIGN TO THE REUNION YOU ARE HAVING IN SEPT. I THINK, IF THE PRICE IS RIGHT, GOOD LUCK.

THANK YOU MISTER NORTH

BOB PARKER

P. S. EVERY ONE READS YOUR BLOG OUT HERE IN CALIFORNIA IT IS A COOL PERFUMED BREEZE OF FRESH NORTHERN AIR FOR US.
LONG LIVE YOUR PRICELESS NORTHERN BLOG MISTER NORTH.

Thanks Normand
Hi Marty;My guess is $2450.
John P.
What do you say normand, do we have a winner??
Marty
Thanks Normand

Today's Animal

Thanks Bev V.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Sensible Observations

1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died

peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."

--Author Unknown



2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
"Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."

--Author Unknown



3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?

There's a support group for that.

It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

--Drew Carey



4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."

--Jeff Foxworthy



5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."

--Dave Barry



6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."

--Bob Ettinger



7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said,
'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"

--Paula Poundstone



8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."

--Conan O'Brien



9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner."

--Lynda Montgomery



10) "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"

--Richard Jeni



11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."

--Johnny Carson



12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."

--Paul Rodriguez



13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law."

--Jerry Seinfeld



14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"

--Warren Hutcherson



15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."

--Oscar Wilde



16) "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.. But I repeat myself."

--Mark Twain



17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan."

--A Whitney Brown



18) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"

--Dave Barry



19) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.

--Unknown, presumed deceased

20) "Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."

- W. C. Fields

Thanks Barry & Louise D.

20 Ways

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Drugs".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area, Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ...
Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

It's Called... therapy!

Thnks Murray P.

Bee/Hornet Cure

I wanted to share this marvelous information in case you may be experiencing the same problem around your home/garden....

A couple of weeks ago I was unfortunate enough to get stung by both a bee and hornet while working in the garden.

My arm swelled up so off to the doctor I went. The clinic gave me cream and an antihistamine.

The next day the swelling was getting progressively worse so off to my regular doctor I went.... Infected arm - needed an antibiotic.


**The interesting thing is what the Doctor told me....

"The next time you get stung put a penny on the bite for 15 minutes."


That night my niece got stung by two bees. When she came over to swim I looked at the bite and it had already started to swell. So off I went to get my money and taped a penny to her arm for 15 minutes. The next morning, there was no sign of a bite. We were very surprised but figured perhaps she just wasn't allergic to the sting.



Then on Saturday night I was helping my niece deadhead her flowers and guess what? I got stung again - by a hornet - twice - on my left hand. I was so distressed, thinking I would have to go to the doctor for yet another antibiotic.



I promptly went into the house, got my money out, and taped two pennies to my bites, then sat and sulked for 15 minutes. The penny took the string out of the bite immediately. I still wasn't sure what was going to happen. In the meantime the hornets were attacking my niece and she got stung on the thumb. Out came another penny. The next morning I could only see a micro spot where I had been stung... no redness, no swelling. I went to see my niece and hers was the same. I couldn't even see where she got stung!

The Doctor said that somehow the copper in the penny counteracts the bite. I would never have believed it. But it DEFINITELY WORKS!


So remember this little bit of wisdom, keep a stock of pennies on hand at school and at home, and pass this on to your friends, children, grandchildren, etc.

Thanks Barry & Louise D.

King Fisher


Hi Marty,
I was somewhat haunted by Ivan's Kingfisher of last
week so I kept looking.
I found this close likeness on a Finnish web/site
called Tarsiger.com
This one is a Blue-eared Kingfisher, Alcedo meninting.
The photo was aparently taken in Goa, India.

This must be an interesting destination given the
Indian/Portuguese cuisine and colourful birds.
I wonder if Ivan had been there and if there were any
sports bars and whether the beer was any good or not.
I enjoyed his account of a day in Quebec City and
would like to hear more about Goa if he could oblige.
Regards, EB.

Thanks Ed B.

Today's Animals


Thanks Bev V.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Ottawa Snow Storm




Marty, I didn't want you to feel alone with your storm stories so I have attached a couple of photos taken this past Sunday morning--March 25th-- after the winter weather gods decided to remind us here in Ottawa that they are still in charge. The snow fall began Sat. nite at 5:30 pm and stopped at about 9:00 pm. Fortunately it all melted by noon Sunday. JMcC

Thanks John

GPK Visit

HI MARTY ,I HAD LUNCH TODAY WITH BERNIE CONSTANTINI I TOLD HIM YOU WHERE GOING TO COME IN MAY, HE REALLY WANTS TO MEET YOU THE PROBLEM HE WILL BE ON VACATION FROM THE THE 11TH OF MAY TO THE 27TH. SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO . LET ME KNOW.

THANKS MARTY HAVE A GOOD HOLIDAY

NORMAND

P.S. I AM GOING TO FEED MY CAMEL NOW,.ON CHURCHILL.

Thanks Normand..
I can’t change my plans Very sorry

Can you name her???


HI MARTY ,NAME THIS FRENCH BABY, IT SHOULD NOT BE HARD, YOU CAN CLICK ON THE BABY IF THAT DOES NOT WORK WAIT FOR THE ANSWER TOMORROW-

Thanks Normand S.
Let see who can name her
Is this the aging Brigitte Bardot?

Flo H.

Thanks Flo

My answer is Brigitte Bardot. I sent my answer to Normand.
Thanks Lou

Hi Marston,
I think that the French Babe of Normand's could be Brigitte Bardot -
yes -
no?
Margaret
Yes Margaret
Thanks Normand

Normand Has Some Questions


HI MARTY,I DONT KNOW DIANE GREGORY, I ENLARGED THE PHOTO I WENT ON FAIRFIELD I THINK I HAVE THE ADDRESS RIGHT,COULD SOMEBODY ANSWER THE QUESTIONS ON THE PHOTO I DONT HAVE THE ANSWERS ALL I KNOW IN 1958 AT 450 FAIRFIELD LIVED STANLEY MATTWEWS, 452 FAIRFIELD LIVED JOHN C. NELSON AND 454 FAIRFIELD LIVED ALEX GREGORY AND FURTHER DOWN AT 472 FAIRFIELD OUR VERY OWN SANDRA SNOW.WHAT DOES DIANE GREGORY HAVE IN HER RIGHT HAND??????

THANKS MARTY

NORMAND SIMARD
Can anyone answer Normand's questions??
Marty,all the respondents were correct in guessing Diane's name and in answer to Norm's question ,he had the correct address 454 Fairfield in the same block as Matthews and Nelsons and she is the daughter of Alec Gregory. The item in her hand is a puppet head on a stick which she was painting for her toymakers badge for Brownies. JMcC

Thanks John McC

Why I'm Retired

This is scary!!!

A Japanese company (Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors)
decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams
practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance for the race.
On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate
the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior
management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person
steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.
Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a
Consulting Company and paid them a huge amount of money for a second opinion.
After a 6-month study they advised that too many people weresteering the canoe, while not enough people were rowing.
Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent
another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was
totally
reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering
superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the one
person rowing the canoe greater incentive to work harder. It was called
the "Rowing Team Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners and free
pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes
and other equipment, extra vacation days for practice, and bonuses.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor
performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment and research. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the
next year's racing team was out-sourced to India.

Ralph.

Thanks Ralph B.

Today's Animal

Thanks Ed B.

Blog Visiters and Contributors

Hello Folks,
I will be out of town from Tuesday until Sat.. I don't know if I will be able to post to the blog but I will try. Take care everyone and thanks for all your kind support...

Marty

Reunion Dance Information

Hi Marston,

Just got this e-mail from Marlann Cooper. I have told her that people wishing to go to the dance alone must order their tickets in advance so I can keep track of the numbers. This is because of the fire regulations. I already have 140 people who have paid for the dinner/dance so there is no waiting list. There are presently 18 people on the list for the dance with room for only 42 more. Please post on the Blog that people wishing to go to the dance must send me a cheque in advance.

Thanks for your help!

Thanks Janet W.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Guess Who (Answered)



Can anyone name this young lady??


Hello from the "Wet Coast"!

Guess Who??
Is this by any chance Doreen Holmes?
Cheers to all!
Ingrid A.

The pic of Carolyn Millar(er) was taken on Murray Ave just above ST. Charles just after it was paved.
Heather Br
Weetwo
Thanks Folks..

Thornbury Ont. Marina

Thanks Heather Br.
Nice pic

Tracking Down Relatives

Hi Marty,

A little follow up to the email I received as a result of my postings on your site. This fellow, Howard Ransom, sent me some contact information and a copy of a book that was written in 1984. The book title is The Walcot's of Montreal West. It turns out that the author, now living in Toronto, is a distant relative. My great garndfather and his great grandmother were brother and sister. Descendants of Pierre Piche whom I had sent to you some months ago.

It seems that this is how he located me. In the book by Donald Walcot he covers his mothers side of the family, who like my family are French Protestants. In one section Donald refers to Uncle Peter (my great grandfather Pierre) and to Pierre's daughter Jeanne going to stay in Vankleek Hill to help the family after uncle Al was born. Jeanne is my great garndmother.

The historical interest here stems from the evangelical movement in Quebec to bring the people to the true gospel and covert them to Protestantism.

He sent me another book by the historical society in Quebec that has an account of my 4th great grandfather Basile Piche and his conversion to the Protestant religion in 1850.

Now ain't that a hoot... go figure... an innocent posting by you of someone in my family and now I have a group of people who are barking up the same tree as I am.

Boy would my Mom and my grandmother love to have known all this.

Bob H

Thanks Bob H.

Red Carpet Pics






Thanks Normand S.




Eagles






Hi Marty,
These awesome pictures were taken recently near Comox , BC ,
Canada.
Unfortunately no one knows who the photographer was. This is
something few humans will ever be privileged to see.


Cheers, M.McG.

Thanks Millie McG.

Health Note (Repeat)

JUST A REMINDER....... ITS BEEN AROUND BEFORE......
RALPH...


BUTTER:
Both have the same amount of calories.
Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5
grams.
Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating
the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.
Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other
foods.
Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only
because they are added!
Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors
of other foods.
Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around
for less than 100 years.

MARGARINE:
Very high in trans fatty acids. Triple risk of coronary heart disease.
Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and
lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)
Increases the risk of cancers up to five fold. Lowers quality of breast
milk.Decreases immune response.
Decreases insulin response.And here's the most disturbing fact....

HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING:
Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC..
This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and
anything else that is hydrogenated(this means hydrogen is added,
changing the molecular structure of the substance).
You can try this yourself: Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in
your garage or shaded area.
Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things:* no flies,
not even those pesky fruit flies
will go near it (that should tell you something)*It does not rot or
smell differently because it has no nutritional value; nothing will grow on
it—
Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow.
Why?
Because it is nearly plastic. Would you melt your Tupperware and spread
that on your toast?Share This With Your Friends.....(If you want to "butter
them up")!

Healthy Alternative: A.K.A. Better Butter
1 Cup Unsalted Butter
1 Cup Cold Pressed Olive Oil or 1 Cup Canola Oil
Put butter and Oil in a bowl and let it reach room Temperature.
Blend together
Put in a container and keep in Fridge.
Use as regular butter

Thanks Ralph B.

Birthday Calculator

It tells you how many hours and how many seconds you have been alive on
this earth and when you were probably conceived. How cool is that?

This is cool. After you've finished reading the info, click again, and see what the moon looked like the night you were born. This is neat. Who says our time clocks aren't ticking........ click on birthday calculator below.....



Birthday Calculator http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp


Have fun….
Thanks Alan H.

Classic Cars Link

Hi Marty,

Here is the link I was telling you about....

http://countryclassiccars.com/trailers.htm

The yard is in Staunton IL

Bob

Thanks Bob H.

A Morning Funny

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, Idid not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it's pouring out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember, about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?

I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes" comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband. "Yes, please!"comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!", replies the drunk.

Thanks Barb C.

Today's Animals

Thanks Millie McG.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Murray's Orange Grove


I have been enjoying your series of pictures of the beautiful people called the red carpet express. Can we look forward to seeing a photo of Murray Penney soon?

Best Gus

Your wish is my command Gus R.

Remember Me Video

I truly believe that this says it all. Watch to the end Please.


Click here: Created by Camtasia Studio 4

http://www.roty.com/DoYouRememberMe/DoYouRememberMe.HTML

Thanks Jim E.
This Video is the best one I have seen in a long time and will touch most of you out there.....
Marty

Dubai UAE







Thanks Barry & Louise D.


Red Carpet Pics





Thanks Normand S.




Open Forum

Hey Norm,
U R as nuts as Hawkins!!!!!
Ralph

Thanks Ralph B.

Letter to the Editor


WELL BOB YOU REALLY GOT ME LAUGHING THIS MORNING WHEN I WENT TO THE BLOG YOU PULLED A GOOD ONE ON RALPH ,
THE RE OPENING OF THE PARKER PORKBARREL IS GREAT, IT IS REALLY THE ONLY SOURCE OF NEWS WE CAN TRUST TO HAVE FUN ,TRUE AND HONEST
JOURNALISM STILL EXIST THANKS BOB SAY HELLO TO TO YOUR STAR REPORTER THE TRUE AND HONEST FATHER BOB HE REALLY TELLS AND GIVE YOU THE NEWS THE WAY HE SEES IT. LONG LIVE THE PARKER PORKBARREL .

NORMAND SIMARD

Thanks Normand

A Health Warning

CRISES CARDIAQUES ET BOIRE DE L’EAU CHAUDE

Ceci est un très bon article. Pas seulement au sujet de l’eau chaude après votre repas mais, au sujet des femmes et leur crises cardiaques. Ça a du sens ... les chinois et les japonais boivent du thé chaud avec leurs repas … non de l’eau froide … il est peut-être temps que nous adoptions leur façon de boire pendant que nous mangeons. Rien à perdre, tout à gagner … Pour ceux qui aiment boire de l’eau froide, cet article s’applique à vous.

C’est bien d’avoir une tasse d’un breuvage froid après un repas. Cependant, l’eau froide va solidifier tout ce qui est huileux de ce que vous venez juste de consommer. Ça ralentira votre digestion. Une fois que cette ¨boue¨ réagira avec l’acide, elle se décomposera et sera absorbée par l’intestin plus vite que la nourriture solide. Elle va recouvrir l’intestin. Très bientôt, cela se changera en gras et conduira au cancer. C’est mieux de boire une soupe chaude ou de l’eau chaude après un repas.

Une note sérieuse à propos des crises cardiaques cœur : Les femmes devraient savoir que pas tous les symptômes d’une crise cardiaque sera une douleur au bras gauche. Craignez une douleur intense au niveau de la mâchoire. Vous n’aurez peut-être jamais la première douleur à l’estomac durant une crise cardiaque. La nausée et des sueurs intenses sont aussi des symptômes communs. 60% des gens qui ont une crise pendant leur sommeil ne se réveillent pas. Une douleur à la mâchoire peut vous réveiller d’un profond sommeil.

Soyons prudents et vigilants. Plus nous en savons, meilleure est la chance de pouvoir survivre … Un cardiologue dit que, si tous ceux qui recevront ce courriel l’envoient à 10 autres personnes, vous pouvez être sûrs que nous aurons sauvé au moins une vie. Lisez ceci … Ça pourrait sauver votre vie!!!

S.V.P. soyez un véritable ami et envoyez cet article à tous vos amis qui vous considèrent.

Le 16 mars, 2007

Thanks Normand.
For those that can't read French.
This suggests that drinking a hot liquid after a meal is heathier than a cold liqiud after a meal. Cold liquids slow down the digestion of food and can lead to colon cancer and also can lead heart attacks while sleeping.
So make sure your wine is warm...

Some Rules of Golf

YOU CAN MAKE A LOT OF MONEY IN THIS GAME. JUST ASK MY
EX-WIVES. BOTH OF THEM ARE SO RICH THAT NEITHER OF THEIR HUSBANDS WORK.
- Lee Trevino
--------------------------
THERE ARE TWO THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR HEAD DOWN - PLAY GOLF AND
PRAY.
- Lee Trevino
-------------------------
A LITTLE GIRL WAS AT HER FIRST GOLF LESSON WHEN SHE ASKED AN
INTERESTING QUESTION: "IS THE WORD SPELT P-U-T OR P-U-T-T?" SHE ASKED THE
INSTRUCTOR. "P-U-T-T IS CORRECT," HE REPLIED.
"PUT MEANS TO PLACE A THING WHERE YOU WANT IT. PUTT MEANS MERELY A VAIN ATTEMPT TO DO THE SAME THING."
----------------------------------
ART SAID HE WANTED TO GET MORE DISTANCE. I TOLD HIM TO HIT IT AND RUN BACKWARD.
- Ken Venturi, on Art Rosenbaum
------------------------------
THE ONLY THING IN MY BAG THAT WORKS IS THE BUG SPRAY.
- Bruce Lansky
---------------------------
GOLF IS A GAME IN WHICH THE SLOWEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD ARE THOSE IN FRONT OF YOU, AND THE FASTEST ARE THOSE BEHIND.
-----------------------------

I'VE HAD A GOOD DAY WHEN I DON'T FALL OUT OF THE CART.
- Buddy Hackett
---------------------------

RELAX? HOW CAN ANYBODY RELAX AND PLAY GOLF? YOU HAVE TO GRIP THE CLUB, DON'T YOU?
- Ben Hogan
-----------------------------
MY BODY IS HERE, BUT MY MIND HAS ALREADY TEED OFF.
------------------------------
I FOUND OUT THAT ALL THE IMPORTANT LESSONS OF LIFE ARE CONTAINED IN THE
THREE RULES FOR ACHIEVING A PERFECT GOLF SWING:
1. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN.
2. FOLLOW THROUGH.
3. BE BORN WITH MONEY.

Thanks Ralph B

The Nun at Hooters

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a
local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud
conversation, and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the
lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead
silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the
restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a
statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said
the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just
long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't
understand.
Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender.
"Would you like a drink?"
"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun. "You
see," laughed the bartender, "

every time someone lifts the fig leaf
on that statue, the lights go out."

Thanks Millie McG.

Today's Animal

Thanks Barb H.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Blog and Internet

Hi Marty,

Just a brief note to let your fellow bloggers know how far reaching this site is. I checked out my email tonight and one was from a fellow by the name of Ransom. Like so many emails we receive I was prepared to delete his when I noticed the subject... Piche/ Taylor...... my ancestors.

I opened the email and lo and behold it was authentic... information he had seen on the Piche family on your blog as well as mine... none the less this internet thingy that we all take for granted, hell its a toy. NOT.

If you want information on yourself, if there is something unique, post it. Some one in cyberspce will find you at some time and send you information that is relative to your heritage.

Thanks Marty, just for being there, it worked for me.

Bob H

Thanks Bob

Another Guess Who Pic?? (Answered)

Can anyone name this young lady???

Hi Marty
I believe the young lady in today's guess who is Diane Gregory.

Sandy R.

Hi Marty;

Is it Diane Gregory?

John P.

Hi Marty,

My guess is Diane McConachie.

Cheers, M. McG.

The guess who is Diane Gregory.
Have a good evening.
Heather Br
Weetwo

Thanks Folks


GPK Porkbarrel News


Hi Marty,

I really think Father Bob has gone too far with this report on the lambs. If you ask me it is a sheep shot on my good friend and golf nemesis Farm Hand Ralphie.

However I often wondered about these Nortel guys so agreed to pass this on.


Bob H

Thanks Bob H. LOL

Red Carpet Pics






Merci Normand



Our GPK Reporter has a new contract


THANKS TO THE PARKER PORKBARREL SPECIALLY TO FATHER BOB FOR THIS INCREDIBLE SPORT STORY THAT GOT ME A LUCRATIVE ADVERTISING CONTRACT WITH CAMEL CIGARETTES.

THE UNITED ARAB EMIRATES ISSUED A STATEMENT THAT I WAS FULL OF DUNG, I WILL PROOF IT SUNDAY,THAT IT IS NOT THE CASE . I WILL DO THE OVER THE HUMP MOUNT WITH A 7.5 DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY YES MARTY NOT 6.9 BUT 7.5.

I ALSO WANT TO THANK THE CHURCHILL BLV. CAMEL CLUB [C.C.C.] FOR THERE FULL COOPERATION.I PLAN TO GO TO THE REUNION IN SEPT. WITH MY WINNING CAMEL. I WILL PARK MY CAMEL ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD,
THERE IS A SAND BOX FOR KIDS NOT FAR MY CAMEL SHOULD FEEL SECURE.AND FEEL AT HOME DURING THE REUNION.

THANKS MARTY

HUMP AL-SIMARD

P.S A SPECIAL THANK YOU ALSO TO THE EDITOR IN CHIEF OF THE PARKER PORKBARREL BOB HAWKINS

Merci Normand