Tuesday, January 15, 2008

A Little Morning Humor

SOUTHERN GRANDMOTHER ON THE WITNESS STAND>

> Lawyers should never ask a grandma a question if they aren't prepared for> the answer.>> In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first> witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman, to the stand.



He approached her> and asked, "Mrs. Sanders, do you know me?">> She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Desmond. I've known you since> you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.> You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about> them behind their backs.



You think you're a big shot when you haven't the> brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit, > paper pusher.> Yes, I know you.">



> The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the> room and asked, "Mrs. Sanders, do you know the defense attorney?">> She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Cristofaro, since he> was a youngster too.

He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He> can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one > of the> worst in the entire state.



Not to mention he cheated on his wife with> three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."> The defense attorney almost died.>



> The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a very quiet> voice said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send> you to the electric chair."

Thanks Ellen S.

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