Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Humor For Lexophiles

(LOVERS OF WORDS):
>>
>>
>>
>> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
>>
>> Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was
>> resisting a rest.
>>
>> Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
>> He's all right now.
>>
>> The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
>> Cumference .
>>
>> The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little
>> behind in his work.
>>
>> To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
>>
>> When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
>>
>> The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small
>> medium at large.
>>
>> A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
>>
>> A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a
>> hardened criminal.
>>
>> Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with
>> stalking.
>>
>> We'll never run out of math teachers because they always
>> multiply.
>>
>> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
>>
>> The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a
>> number on it.
>>
>> The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on
>> shaky ground.
>>
>> The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
>>
>> If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your
>> memory.
>>
>> A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
>>
>> A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>>
>> Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>>
>> A backward poet writes inverse.
>>
>> In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's
>> your Count that votes.
>>
>> Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Thanks Gus R.

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