Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Church Bulletins

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins

or were announced in church services:

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning:  'Jesus Walks on the Water.'

The sermon tonight:          'Searching for Jesus.'

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.   It's a chance to

get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.  

Bring your husbands.

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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been

cancelled due to a conflict.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.

Smile at someone who is hard to love.  Say 'Hell' to someone

who doesn't care much about you.

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Don't let worry kill you off -- Let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,'

giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we

have a nursery downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.  They need

all the help they can get.

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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the

choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24

in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school

days.

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church

hall.  Music will follow.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What

Is Hell?'   Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition

of several new members and to the deterioration of some older

ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to

be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the

deceased person you want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment

and gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM -- Prayer and medication to

follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.

They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park

across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to

sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.

All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the

B. S. is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation

would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast

next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.

Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet

in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.  The congregation is

invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian

Church.  Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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The Associate Minister unveiled the Church's new tithing

campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

 

Thanks Barry & Louise D.

 

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