Friday, April 25, 2008

One For the Over 30 Crowd

If you are 30 or older, you will

      think this is hilarious!!!!

 

      When I was a kid, adults used to

      bore me to tears with their

      tedious diatribes about how hard

      things were when they were growing

      up;   what, with walking

      twenty-five miles  to school every

      morning... uphill BOTH ways yada,

      yada, yada!

 

      And I remember promising myself

      that when I grew up, there was no

      way in hell I was going to lay a

      bunch of crap like that on kids

      about how hard I had it and how

      easy they've got  it!

 

      But now that... I'm over the ripe

      old age of thirty, I can't help

      but look around and notice the

      youth of today. You've got it so

      easy! I mean, compared to my

      childhood, you live in a

      Utopia!

 

      And I hate to say it but you kids

      today you don't know how good

      you've got it!

 

      I mean, when I was a kid we didn't

      have The Internet. If we wanted to

      know something, we had to go to

      the  library and look it up

      ourselves, in the card catalog!!

 

      There was no email! We had to

      actually write somebody a

      letter...with a pen! Then you had

      to walk all the way across the

      street and put it in the mailbox

      and it would take like a week to

      get there!

 

      There were no MP3's or Napsters!

      You wanted to steal music, you had

      to hitchhike to the damn record

      store and shoplift it yourself!

      Or you had to wait around all day

      to tape it off the radio and the

      DJ'd usually talk over the

      beginning and @#*% it all up!

 

      We didn't have fancy stuff like

      Call Waiting! If you were on the

      phone and somebody else called

      they got a busy signal, that's it!

      And we didn't have fancy Caller ID

      Boxes either!  When the phone

      rang, you had no idea who it was!

      It could be your school, your mom,

      your boss, your bookie, your drug

      dealer, a collections agent, you

      just didn't know!!! You had to

      pick it up and take your chances,

      mister!

 

      We didn't have any fancy Sony

      Playstation video games with

      high-resolution 3-D graphics!  We

      had the Atari 2600! With games

      like 'Space Invaders' and

      'asteroids' and the graphics

      sucked!  Your guy was a little

      square! You actually had to use

      your imagination! And there were

      no multiple levels or screens, it

      was just one screen forever! And

      you could never win. The game just

      kept getting harder and harder and

      faster and faster until you died!

      Just like LIFE!

 

      When you went to the movie theater

      there no such thing as stadium

      seating! All the seats were the

      same height! If a tall guy or some

      old broad with a hat sat in front

      of you and you couldn't see, you

      were just screwed!

 

      Sure, we had cable television, but

      back then that was only like 15

      channels and there was no onscreen

      menu and no remote control! You

      had to use a little book called a

      TV Guide to find out what was on!

      You were screwed when it came to

      channel surfing! You had to get

      up and walk over to the

      TV to change the channel and there

      was no Cartoon Network either! You

      could only get cartoons on

      Saturday morning.

 

      And we didn't have microwaves, if

      we wanted to heat something up we

      had to use the stove or go build a

     fire.... imagine that!

 

      If we wanted popcorn, we had to

      use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing

      and shake it over the stove

      forever like an idiot.

 

      That's exactly what I'm talking

      about! You kids today have got it

      too easy. You're spoiled!!!!!!!!!

 

      You guys wouldn't have lasted five

      minutes back in 1980!  Oh yea, and

      a seatbelt was Mom throwing her

      arm across your chest every time

      she hit the  brakes.

 

      Regards,

      The over 30 Crowd

 

Thanks Diana J.P.

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