Dear Revenue Canada or whatever your current name may be:
Enclosed and/or attached, you will find my 2007 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.
Please note the attached article from the Toronto Globe and Mail; dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Canadian Department of National Defense is paying $171.50 per hammer and Fisheries and Oceans Canada has paid $600.00 per toilet seat for it's icebreakers.
As payment, I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Canadian Tire, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.
Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the 'Help Stephan Dion Election Fund,' as noted on my return.
You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5' Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from The Globe and Mail detailing how the Department of Public Works pays $22.00 each for 1.5' Phillips Head Screws). One Philips screw is enclosed for your convenience.
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.
God Bless Canada !
Thanks Ivan R.