Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Computer Illiterates

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you skip any, you have to read the last one!
=================================

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...


===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't pr int. Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
============== =
Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer:! OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work... ===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
== ============= Customer: can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape.Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. =============== Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P"....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

Thanks Barb H.

No comments: