Monday, January 05, 2009

Ode to the New Year

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house

Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse;

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste

At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

 

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared -

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese

And the way I'd never said, 'No thank you, please.'

 

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt

And prepared once again to do battle with dirt;

I said to myself, as I only can,

'You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!'

 

So - away with the last of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip;

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished

'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

 

I won't have a cookie - not even a lick,

I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick;

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie -

I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

 

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore,

But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot...

Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet

 

Thanks Sandy R.

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