Sunday, March 22, 2009


Subject: children & the ocean


Subject: Children writing about the ocean:


1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)


2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)


3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island.  If you don't

have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.   ( Wayne , age 7)


4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily

Richardson. She's not my friend any more.   (Kylie, age 6)


5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)


6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and

pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie,age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross

the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would

whistle to make the wind come.  My brother said they would have been

better off eating beans.  (William, age 7)


8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful

and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get

pregnant? Like, really?   (Helen, age 6)


9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always

crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got

pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)


10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting.  Electric eels can

give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I

think they have to plug themselves into chargers.  (Christopher, age



11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes

my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)


12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water.  Divers

can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky,

age 8)


13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was

going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired

right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)


14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish.  Why the fish don't

drown I don't know.  (Bobby, age 6)


15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean.

What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.

  (James, age 7)

Thanks Barb H.

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