Tuesday, March 03, 2009

I Owe My Mother

>   01. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

>   "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I

> just finished cleaning."

>    

>   02. My mother taught me RELIGION.

>   "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

>    

>   03. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

>   "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into

> the middle of next week!"

>    

>   04. My mother taught me LOGIC.

>   " Because I said so, that's why."

>    

>   05. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .

>   "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,

> you're not going to the store with me."

>    

>   06. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .

>   "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an

> accident."

>    

>   07. My mother taught me IRONY.

>   "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

>    

>   08. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

>   "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

>    

>   09. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

>   "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

>    

>   10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

>   "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

>    

>   11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

>   "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through

> it."

>    

>   12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .

>   "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't

> exaggerate!"

>    

>   13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

>   "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

>    

>   14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

>   "Stop acting like your father!"

>    

>   15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

>   "There are millions of less fortunate children in this

> world who don't have wonderful

>   Parents like you do."

>    

>   16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

>   "Just wait until we get home."

>    

>   17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

>   "You are going to get it when you get home!"

>    

>   18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

>   "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to

> get stuck that way."

>    

>   19. My mother taught me ESP.

>   "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are

> cold?"

>    

>   20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

>   "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come

> running to me."

>    

>   21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

>   "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

>    

>   22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

>   "You're just like your father."

>    

>   23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .

>   "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in

> a barn?"

>    

>   24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

>   "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

>    

>   25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

>   "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just

> like you.

>Thanks Barb C.

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