Sunday, June 14, 2009

Florida Living

For those of you

> contemplating retirement, I would like to share my

> retirement experiences

> with you, which I hope will be

> helpful.

>

>

> Fifteen years ago my wife and I moved into a

> retirement

> development on Florida's Southeast coast. We are

> living in the

> Delray/Boca/Boynton Golf, Spa, Bath and Tennis Club on

> Lake Fake-a-hachee.

> There are 3000 lakes in Florida; only three are real.

> Most lake names

> end in hachee something.

>

> Our biggest retirement

> concern was time management. What were we going

> to do all day? Let me

> assure you, passing the time is not a problem. Your

> days will be eaten up by

> simple, daily activities. Just getting out of

> your car takes 15

> minutes. Trying to find where you parked takes 20

> minutes. It takes

> 1/2 hour on the check-out line in Wal-Mart and 1 hour

> to return the item the

> next day.

>

> Let me take you through a

> typical day. We get up at 5:00 AM, have a quick

> breakfast and join the early

> morning Walk and Talk Club. T here are about 30 of us

> and rain or shine we

> walk around the streets, all talking at once. Every

> development has some

> late risers who stay in bed until 6 AM. After a

> nimble walk avoiding

> irate drivers out to make us road kill, we go back

> home, shower and change

> for the next activity.

>

> My wife goes directly to

> the pool for her under-water Pilates class, followed by

> gasping for breath

> and CPR. I put on my 'Ask me about my

> Grandchildren' T-shirt, my plaid

> mid-calf shorts, my black socks and sandals and go to

> the club house lobby

> for a nice nap.

>

> Before you know it, it's

> time for lunch. We go to Costco to partake of the

> many tasty samples

> dispensed by ladies in white hair nets. All free!

> After a filling

> lunch, if we don't have any doctor appointments, we

> might go to the flea

> market to see if any new white belts have come in or to

> buy a Rolex watch

> for $2.00.

>

> We're usually back home

> by 2 PM to get ready for dinner. People start

> lining up for the early

> bird about 3 PM, but we get there by 3:45 because

> we're late eaters. The

> dinners are very popular because of the large portions

> they serve. You

> can take home enough food for the next day's lunch

> and dinner, including

> extra bread, crackers, packets of mustard, relish,

> ketchup and Sweet-and-Low

> along with mints.

>

> At 5:30 we're home ready

> to watch the 6 o'clock news. By 6:30 we're fast

> asleep. Then we get up and

> make 5 or 6 trips to the bathroom during the night and

> it's time to get up

> and start a new day all over again.

>

> Doctor-related activities

> eat up most of your retirement time. I enjoy reading

> old magazines in sub

> zero temperatures in the waiting room, so I don't

> mind. Calling for test

> results also help the days fly by. It takes at least

> half an hour just

> getting through the doctor's phone menu. Then

> there's the hold time until

> you're connected to the right party. Sometimes they

> forget you're holding,

> and the whole office goes off to lunch.

>

> Should you find you still

> have time on your hands, volunteering provides a

> rewarding opportunity to

> help the less fortunate. Florida has the largest

> concentration of seniors

> under five feet and they need our help. I myself am a

> volunteer for 'The

> Vertically Challenged Over 80.' I coach their

> basketball team, The Arthritic

> Avengers. The hoop is only 4 1/2 feet from the floor.

> You should see the

> look of confidence on their faces when they make a slam

> dunk.

>

> Food shopping is a

> problem for short seniors or 'bottom feeders'

> as we call them because they

> can' t reach the items on the upper shelves. There

> are many foods they've

> never tasted. After shopping, most seniors can't

> remember where they parked

> their cars and wander the parking lot for hours while

> their food

> defrosts.

>

> Lastly, it's important to

> choose a development with an impressive name. Italian

> names are very popular

> in Florida . They convey world traveler, uppity

> sophistication and wealth.

> Where would you rather live... Murray's Condos or

> the Lakes Of Venice ?

> There's no difference. They're both owned by

> Murray who happens to be a

> cheap bastard.

>

> I hope this material has

> been of help to you.

>

>Thanks Win S.

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