Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Stimulus ???

> Stimulus Payment Info.
> This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.
> This is a very exciting new federal program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
> Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
> A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
> Q. Where will the government get this money?
> A. From taxpayers.
> Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
> A. Only a smidgen.
> Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
> A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, > thus stimulating the economy.
> Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
> A. Shut up. >
> Below are some helpful hints on how you can best help the Canadian economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: >> NOTE: > If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to - China .
> If you spend it on gasoline it will go to - the Arabs.
> If you purchase a computer it will go to - India.
> If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to - Mexico - Honduras - Guatemala.
> If you buy a car it will go to - Japan .
> If you purchase useless crap it will go to - Taiwan .
> None, repeat, none of it will help the Canadian economy.
> We really need to keep that money here in Canada.
> Therefore, to ensure that the money stays in Canada, spend it at:
> - yard sales,> - go to a hockey game, >
or> - spend it on prostitutes,>
- domestic beer & wine, or
> - tattoos,
> Since those are the only businesses still located in Canada.

Thanks Ivan R.

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