For the man in the house.
>
>
> You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house- mowing the
> lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You
> are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work
> clothes on... You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, old
> T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis
> shoes.
>
> Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize!
> you need to run to Home Depot to get some thing to help complete the
> job.
>
> Depending on your age you might do the following:
>
>
>
>
>
>
> In your 20's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush
> your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the
> mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never
> know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout
> lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> In your 30's:
>
> Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes.
> You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and
> comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a
> shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running
> the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> In your 40's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover
> the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a
> hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so
> you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check
> yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy
> young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel
> weird thinking she is spicy.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> In your 50's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto
> your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog doo-doo in
> your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to
> wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat The Cutie running
> the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have
> it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer
> Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms .'
>
>
>
>
>
>
> In your 60's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog
> doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your
> 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in
> your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't
> have your glasses on so you are not sure.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> In your 70's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store
> has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog doo-doo
> on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you
> remind her of her grandfather.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> In your 80's:
>
> Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you
> remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and
> wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out
> loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school
> with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.
>
>
>
>
>
> In your 90's & beyond:
>
> What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I?
> Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
>
>Thanks Richard W.
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