Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Venus and Mars

Marston

I recently re-read the books Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I have to confess, I missed most of the finer points first time around. Now I understand why there where a few words I have always had trouble with.. For what ever worth this may be to others, I pass them on

When women use the word " Fine"

This is used at the end of an argument when they are convinced they are right. It means they want you to stop talking

It is always best to do so especially if she is bigger ( stronger) than you.

P.S.

Never use the word “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This could cause you to have one of those very arguments that end in the word fine.

5 minutes

This really means about half an hour. It is equivalent to the amount of time you mean when you say " Yes dear, I'll do that in 5 minutes" while you are watching your favourite game on T.V.

" Nothing"

This really means "something", but you may be better off not knowing what it really means.

"Nothing" is used when all hope of reason on her part has been exhausted. It is that unusual brief short pause before the option of physical violence is entertained. More than likely however, the word " Nothing" signals the beginning of an argument that will last " 5 minutes" and end with the word " fine".

" Loud sigh"

While actually not a word as such, a sigh is still a verbal statement, often misunderstood.

It can indicate that she has momentarily run out of simple phrased explicative’s, ( the ones you can understand) and may be about to resort to some you may not care to. Pay particular attention to the volume of the sigh as it is an indication of the level of indignation being expressed, (although some pretty low keyed sighs have been known to be followed by some pretty high volume verbal exchanges )

" Go Ahead" Warning!!!!

This is does not mean you have permission to do what you are contemplating!! Serious bodily injury may occur if you proceed!!

As a matter of fact, the least you can expect if you take up this dare, is that she will be very upset over " nothing" and that could persist for over an hour ( all day) and end in silence.

" Silence"

The worst possible noise you can't hear. When all the colours in the spectrum come together, you get " White"

Silence is like white, because all the words she could possibly think to utter have come together and like a white lighting bolt, are aimed directly at you. . While nothing is being said, one should never assume nothing is being thought because If silence was light, your chances of having sun stoke that very instant, would be very great.

P.S.

Silence has been an effective response when arguing over " Nothing."

I hope this helps us Martians

Doug G

Thanks Doug

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