Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Newfie Medical Dictionary

Newfoundlanders have the Lowest Stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously, you are going to die anyway, so live life and drink till you cannot lift your own mug!

Newfie Medical Dictionary

Artery.............................. The study of paintings

Bacteria.......................... Back door to cafeteria

Barium........................... What doctors do when patients die

Benign........................... What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section........ A neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan....................... Searching for Kitty

Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her

Colic............................ A sheep dog

Coma............................. A punctuation mark

Dilate............................. To live long

Enema...........................Not a friend

Fester........................... Quicker than someone else

Fibula........................... A small lie

Impotent.........................Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain.................... Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff................ A Doctor's cane

Morbid.......................... A higher offer

Nitrates.......................... Cheaper than day rates

Node............................... I knew it

Outpatient>..................... A person who has fainted

Pelvis............................ Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative............. A letter carrier

Recovery Room.......... Place to do upholstery

Rectum.......................... Nearly killed him

Secretion...................... Hiding something

Seizure........................ Roman emperor

Tablet............................ A small table

Terminal Illness........... Getting sick at the airport

Tumor........................... One plus one more

Urine........................... Opposite of you're out

Thanks Margaret

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